Ouran: Hikaru/Kaoru [Friend or Foe]
Twin love!

Title: Friend or Foe
Author: namistai8
Character/Pairing/Group: Hikaru/Haruhi/Kaoru, Hikaru/Kaoru
Rating: PG, for angst
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: The twins fight over their "toy".




"We used to love one another / Give to each other / Lie undercover so, / Are you friend or foe
Love one another / Live for each other / So, are you friend or foe / Cause I used to know"
T.A.T.U.



It was inevitable. All snow melts under the warmth of the sun and the bitter desolation of winter gives way to the beguiling sunshine of the spring. They had seen the snow stop falling, the sun rise in the East and seen the puddles of water appear in their winter wonderland.

They followed the water, to see where it would lead. But like every rivulet that runs to a stream which just leads to a bigger river until they finally reached the ocean.

But everyone knows that it isn't the destination that is important but the journey.




At first, it was a simple tension as each of them tried to monopolize Haruhi's time. Interrupting each other, a shove here, an intrusion there. Usually the other would respond with a sidelong glance or a mild frown, but never long enough for Haruhi to notice. If she did, she would chide them for being so rude to each other, which would just make both of them shrug at the same time, drape an arm over each other and give her a show of "brotherly affection".

Then it became a simple thing to try and engineer scenarios in which the other wasn't present. Hikaru would try to walk with her to different classrooms, leaving Kaoru behind. Kaoru would help her whenever she had to carry anything to the music room. Hikaru would go out to buy coffee with her. Kaoru would help her put away the dishes. The other would watch silently and thoughtfully as their other half would laugh and talk with Haruhi.




They didn't fight in public. Not about her at least. Even when they wanted to. Although a fight would not have been anything out of the ordinary, it was a chance they weren't willing to take. Their fights tended to be staged, or at least, they knew what the other would say because it was what they would have said themselves in response... but this time, Hikaru didn't know what Kaoru would respond and Kaoru didn't know if he could just bite his tongue this time and not tell Hikaru something that would change their relationship forever. Both of them avoided upsetting the other from lashing out in public, because.... they weren't ready for that. It hadn't come to that. Not yet. They still had each other, right? They would be brothers forever.... what they felt for Haruhi could pass. It was just a crush. It was the first time someone else mattered. They would be brothers forever. There would be others, right? This was only the first time.




One afternoon, after a silent ride on their limousine back from school because Kaoru was irritated at Hikaru for effectively monopolizing Haruhi for half an hour during physics and Hikaru was grumpy because Kaoru had helped Haruhi with washing the tea pots and he could hear them laughing underneath the splashing water, they had their first and only fight about Haruhi. It really wasn't a fight because they were too aware of each other, of their feelings, of the other's feelings to really do damage. But it had come close. They each held words, sharp as razors, against their cheeks, careful not to let them loose, not wanting to cut the other but not wanting to feel one self bleed because of it.

Kaoru glared at Hikaru. Hikaru glared back.

"You didn't have to take so long!" Hikaru accused Kaoru.

"I could have helped you with the math problem!" Kaoru countered.

A long stretch of silence, in which they eyed each other, mirror reflections. Mirror emotions. Anger, irritation, fear, love, desire, frustration. Hikaru loved Kaoru, had always loved him... which is why his emotions toward Haruhi were complicated because Haruhi had not always been there and there was no reason to believe she would always be there. Kaoru loved Hikaru, had always loved him... but he liked being set apart, he liked knowing there was someone else that could tell him apart from Hikaru and Haruhi did that.

And they could feel Haruhi's presence just vibrate between them. Each of them desiring her for himself. And yet couldn't bear sacrificing the other for her.

Haruhi was the interloper.

Kaoru was the interloper.

Hikaru was the interloper.

The sun was just too bright in their eyes, too overwhelming, too blinding.

They would be happier if she didn't exist. But that's a lie. They hadn't been happier. They had been waiting for her. Waiting for someone to tell them apart. Someone other than themselves to love.

The tension was too much. Hikaru stalked out of the room. Kaoru stayed and sat on the couch, his shoulders slumped and his hands in his head.





Neither of them got much sleep that night. Lying on the bed, hearing the breathing of the other. Hikaru knew that Kaoru was still awake. Kaoru knew that Hikaru was pretending to sleep. It had been painful. They had dressed in silence. Gotten into the bed in silence. The light had been turned off and they lay in silence, each in their side of the bed, staring at the ceiling. No whispered words tonight, no shared thoughts, no secret laughs, no pleasant dreams. Just painful silence.

Kaoru turned to face Hikaru, looked at him for the first time, as another person that just looked like him. Looked at him for the first time with ambivalent feelings. Hikaru turned to face him, searching for something he seemed to have forgotten was there. Kaoru offered him a small smile, and Hikaru smiled back.

But each of them knew that with that smile meant that there would be things the other would never know anymore.

They fell asleep watching and looking at each other.




Author's Notes: Merp. I didn't know quite how to end it. I didn't actually want them to fight but it's the tension that I'm trying to capture.



Comments! Carrots! Lemme know if you liked it! Or if you didn't! ^^

Crossposted in ouran_host, ouranhostclub, and ouran_fanfics